I'm just more
by LittleCripsy
Summary: Happy from the outside but broken inside. That's Blaine.  He struggles being a teenager in a world full of homophobic people. Until he finally meets the person he's been looking for.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue:**

The boy in front of him looked angry and his hazel green eyes were dark and small, his eyebrows drawn together and his mouth pressed into a single small line. His thick dark curls stood up in every direction possible as he took his hands and ran them through it, finally removing even the last bit of gel. He stared him in the eye, the whole body shaken. Underneath the hate and rage was something else. It wasn't as clear to see but it was definetely there, he just couldn't name it yet. Didn't want to name it. He resisted the urge to reach out his hands to touch the boy, to calm him down, knowing that everything he'd get to touch would be the cold, hard glass of the mirror.

**I'm just more - Chapter 1**

Blaine Anderson was a normal teenage boy. Well, maybe a little bit shorter than the average – that was the reason for his nickname "Hobbit", that and his curls – he never seemed to worry about anything but wasn't quite the happy boy either. He was something you'd call equable. On the outside at least.

He was sitting in his dorm room, trying to get rid of these emotions, so he could join the others for another impromptu performance of their Glee club called "The Warblers". But as hard as he tried, he couldn't get rid of the voice of his father, yelling at him through the telephone, telling him that he was worth nothing, not the money they spent on him and not worth carrying the name Anderson anymore. Blaine never would have told his father that he was gay two years ago, if he hadn't been absolutely sure he would love him neverthless. But he was wrong. So damn wrong. He hadn't talked to him in a long time after that, and today he did try and call him, but that was the biggest mistake in his life. All he wanted was a father who loved him, who told him that everything was gonna be alright. He wanted to be treated like every normal child. But wasn't he normal? Not in the eyes of his father.

After minutes of yelling on the telephone his father had hung up, his last words of him still lingering in his head: "_Stay the hell away from us, I don't want you here anymore. You're a failure, Blaine, a frickin' fag!" _

He didn't want him near his family anymore, and Blaine was absolutely sure that that was the only reason he still paid the Dalton bills – to keep him away.

The minute he told him, revealed his soul and biggest fears, he was gone. He never stood up for him, or helped him against the bullies. He let everything happen to Blaine, his son, without doing anything. Blaine felt alone, even with a house full of people, people he called family and who were supposed to love him. His mother loved him, he knew that, but she was afraid to do something his father didn't want her to do. And his sister? She was too little to even understand.

He got shoved into lockers, thrown into dumpsters and got pushed face first into the toilet, and nobody cared. He had gone to the headmaster once, but all he'd told him was to transfer to another school. Blaine knew the headmaster would be more than relieved to see him go. Blaine refused, he didn't wanted to run away, to look like a coward. That was before prom.

Blaines thoughts went back to the most terrible night in his whole life. He never wanted to think about it ever again, never wanted to feel the pain again. His hand reached automatically his neck. A long scar ran from underneath his ear up to the back of his head. It began to ache when he thought about how he got it. _No, Blaine, not today, you're not going back there, it's __in__ the past, don't let it bring you down! You've already __got__ enough to worry about. _But it was too late.

His mind was an endless sea of bad memories, everything that made his life miserable. He didn't want this anymore. The only thing he wanted was for everything to stop.

Blaine stood up, his legs stiff from sitting, and began to walk around in his room. This were times when he was glad to have a room to him alone, these were the moments when he let down all his walls, even if he didn't want to. He didn't want to show weakness, even if it was just him who could see it. When he reached his desk he saw the picture of his father. He didn't think twice as it flew across the room, hit the door and shattered down and landed with a loud thud on the floor, broken glass flying in every direction.

Blaine jumped as someone knocked at his door. "Blaaaaiine? Everything alright in the Shire, hobbit?" Wes' voice shouted through the closed door, sounding worried. Damn, thought Blaine, he'd never done something like this and this sure as hell wasn't allowed to happen again. He didn't want his friends to know about his personal problems, it was enough for them to know that he was gay. They didn't need to know his problems, that he wasn't as happy as he seemed to be and that he even cried himself to sleep sometimes. "Blaine?" Wes voice asking again, this time a little bit more worried. Blaine jumped again, having totally forgotten that his friend was standing outside. He took a long steadying breath and answered with what he hoped was a strong voice. "Yeah, Wes, I'm fine, stay outside, I-I just tripped over a...a towel and hit the frame of a picture. Everything is fine, I'll come as soon as I clear it up!" Hoping Wes would believe it, he started to gather up the bigger pieces of glass, making as much sound as possible. "Okay, meet you there!", and with that, Wes started walking away. Blaine let out a heavy breath, leant against the door and sinked down to the floor. His head between his knees he sat there, trying to gain control of his shaking body. Today wasn't his day. Well, everyday wasn't his day. Wouldn't it be easy to bring this all to an end? Nobody loved him, apreciated him the way he was. Sure, he had friends, but they didn't even know him. Didn't know the truth behind his facade. And he wasn't going to tell them. He'd taken a huge risk by telling them he was gay. His mind went back and he remembered how normal his friends had acted as he'd told them. As if it was the most natural thing. As if they already knew it, or at least had guessed it. They had made jokes, but none of the offending ones. For the first time in his life he had felt accepted. Blaine remembered Nick saying "_Aaand did you already __pick__ someone? Having a crush? Come on, tell us!" _Blaine's face had turned crimson. Of course he had a crush, but he'd never expected his friends to want to talk about this. "_I...well...er...um..." _Blaine had tried, but he hadn't been able to talk about himself. Not now. Maybe never. _"Hey, Hobbit, it's okay, you don't need to tell us, but we're always here for you, okay? We will not let anything happen to you, get it?" _Blaine didn't know how much they knew from his old school or if they simply knew that gay people always got bullied, but he was grateful for this. He felt safe at Dalton, safe with his friends. But he never let anyone near him. Never let anyone see the real Blaine, the boy that he could be. He always tried to be the best just to be appreciated. Things in life wouldn't come to him natutally and he spent hours alone in his bedroom, trying to get better at things he already was the best at. But there was one thing he wished more for than anything else. He wished to be loved by someone, someone he could love in return. A boyfriend. But he knew his life was not a dream, life sucks and he lived in a world where narrow-minded, old-fashioned and hateful people were the standard.

He looked at the sharp piece of glass in his hand. It would be easy to set things to an end. Almost too easy. "_You're worth nothing Blaine!"_, his father's voice yelled at him in his mind, "_You brought shame to my name! ..!"_

A tear ran across his face and lingered in the corner of his mouth. Angrily he wiped it away with his free hand. The other hand still clung the glass. The emotions came back, and finally he had a name for the one he couldn't identify earlier today. Hurt. He wasn't just angry and furious as he thought, but he never wanted to admit it to himself that he was weak and able to get hurt. But he was. He was hurt and he felt lonely. His heart ached in realisation and his mind went blank. He'd never been that disappointed in himself before, not even when he had slowly begun to realize that he was gay. It wasn't something you could chose, it just happened. Blaine pushed up the sleeve of his blazer, and pressed the sharp end of the glass into his skin.


	2. Chapter 2

~I'm Just More - Chapter 2~

Blaine closed his eyes, feeling the cold glass on his skin. Another knock on the door made him wince and he felt a sharp pain in his wrist and his hand as the glass cut inside his skin. "Blaine? We can't start without you! They're gettin' impatient! Blaine?" , this time it was Nick, sounding rather annoyed than worried. Blaine let go of the glass piece in his hand, looking shocked at the blood in his right hand and at his left wrist . He looked at his wrist. Thank God, the cut wasn't deep. He let out a shaky breath, trying to steady his breath and calm down the pacing heart in his chest. With a sigh he stood up, pressing his right hand over the cut. "Sorry, god stuck up here, I'll be there in five!" He shouted through the door, glad that Nick hadn't seen him. Walking across the room to the bath he tried not to step on what remained of the broken frame. He turned on the water and hold his hands under the cold stream, looking suspiciously at the fading red colour in the sink. Did he really tried to kill himself? And failed? He snortet in disbelief. _Right, I _couldn't _even__get__ the easiest thing done, _he thought bitterly disappointed in himself. Everything could be over, but here he was, alive and still worthless.

"Are you sure everything is alright", a soft voice asked, definitely coming from _in_side his bedroom. Blaine stiffened. Damn, he hadn't made sure that Nick went down to the others. Instead he must have come inside his room, unheard by Blaine, too deep into his own thoughts. He turned his head as he heard footsteps coming closer to the bathroom door. "Yeah, everythings fine!", he hurried to yell, his voice faking an reassuring tone perfectly. _Years of practice_, Blaine told himself, turned off the water and dried his hands. The footsteps stopped and Blaine began to exhale, but then he saw the doorknob moving. His eyes widened as he thought about what he should do. He hadn't locked the door, had he? And if Nick saw him like this, he'd see that nothing was alright. "Stay outside, I'm...I'm changing. Got myself cut on that damn glass splinters while cleaning up!", the best liar always goes with the truth as much as possible, Blaine decided and hurried to pick up the box with plasters on the counter at the sink. His lie would go with the bleeding wounds on his right hand and the cut at his wrist wasn't big, if he kept his sleeves down, no one would notice. At least that's what he hoped for.

_Fine. I'll take this last performance. I'll allow myself one last time __to_ _lose__ myself in the music. After that, I'm done. I tried to live, tried to find my place in this world and failed . If life has nothing nice to offer to gay people, I don't want it anymore..No one will notice what I'm planning or thinking, as usual_, _all I need is to look exactly like everyday. _Dark thoughts clouded Blaine's mind as he looked into the mirror and groaned at his reflection. Damn those curls! Quickly he squeezed some gel into his hand and ran it multiple times through his dark hair. He didn't stop until the last curl was pushed back flat across his head. _Much better. S_atisfied with his looks he turned away, putting on his well-tried and often used smile and stepped through the door. Nick sat at his bed, a worried look on his face as he looked closely at the damaged picture on the ground. Blaine coughed once, and Nick turned his head, raising a questioning eyebrow on him. "Tripped.", Blaine explained shortly, shrugged his shoulder and went out of his room, expecting Nick to follow him.

That was what he liked the most about the dark eyed boy with fluffy brown hair. He never pushed Blaine to tell anything, he let him alone and was there when he needed him. Blaine knew he could always count on Nick.

"Ey, Hobbit, I'll just check what's with Jeff," Nick told him, looking a little bit awkward."He isn't downstairs yet either. Meet ya there!", and with that he stalked down the hallway.

_Fine, _Blaine took one more breath, shook his head and pushed his walls back in place. _You can do this. The show must go on. right? Just for a few more hours._

He hurried down the great staircase, along other students of Dalton Academy, checking his pocketwatch and didn't notice the stranger standing unsure on the stairs until he spoke. "Excuse me? I'm new here. Where's everybody going?", a high voice asked him. _Damn, wrong time, wrong place kid, _Blaine thought**,** a cocky comment already on his lips and ready to shot the boy down. _Couldn't just someone else stop and argue with that kid? _But he turned around**,** too curious about who this voice belonged to. He caught his breath when blue eyes met his. Gorgeous blue eyes, which looked shyly down at him. The boy smiled awkwardly, and blew Blaine's mind totally away. Something twisted inside of Blaine, but he had enough going on yet, so he didn't paid much attention to it. Blaine noticed he wasn't in the Dalton uniform and the guy seemed kinda nervous. Clearly some sort of spy, but he looked nice. So Blaine did the first thing coming to his mind. He held out his hand and smiled warmly. "I'm Blaine." , he said and shook the hand of the stranger, scolding himself immediatly. _That wasn't what the boy wanted to know Blaine, great, make a fool outta yourself, dumbass! And why are you even talking to him? _Still, he never broke eye contact. That was something his mother had taught him, back in the time when she was still talking to him and caring about him. "Kurt. So, what's going on?", the boy, Kurt, snapped him out of his thoughts, sending chills down his spine as their hands touched. Blaine watched closely at Kurt's face, taking in every inch of skin, very pale and smooth looking skin. Kurt had a little nose and dark blonde hair which made him look more like an angel than an actual human being, and Blaine felt the urge to touch it. His voice sounded like raindro..._what the hell am I thinking? This is just some random guy__**,**_Blaine told himself**;** but he couldn't stop the funny tickling in his stomach, which still refused to go away. He still didn't realize what that was about. He answered quickly, maybe too quickly because the boy in front of him just stared at him with an unreadable expression, a slight smile on his lips. "The Warblers, that's what's going on! They'll have an impromtu act in a few minutes." When the boy didn't say anything, Blaine's actions were faster than he could think twice about what he was doing. _H_e grabbed Kurt's hand, said "Come on, I'll show you" , and pulled him along the now empty hallway, a grin spreading on his face.


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, it took me a little bit longer this time, I'm sorry. I spent to much time reading ffs myself. ;) I'm really insecure about my writing, I always struggle to find the right words, but I hope I'll get better with the time and that you enjoy reading it. Anyway, I might point out that I do not always use the same words as the show, and even if the actions are pretty much as in the actual tv show, I'll go my own way in some time. I just need them to get to a point and then the fun begins ;)Have fun, and please leave a comment, even if you tell me I suck.

Hugs and butterfly kisses 3

(I do not own Glee or anything related to that TV show(I forgot to mention that in the previous chapter, it's the same there^^))

Edit: I finally found an awesome beta reader, she's awesome in finding the mistakes I make! I corrected the previous chapter.

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><p><strong>I'm Just More - Chapter 3<strong>

"Next time just don't forget your jacket, new kid. You'll fit right in.", Blaine told the stranger, who looked as if he felt kinda uneasy, with a wink and straightened his collar. _All right, let the show begin_, Blaine thought smugly, rubbed his hands together and turned on his heels, his mates already humming the melody of Teenage Dream by Katy Perry.

"You think I'm pretty without any makeup on",

Blaine's voice filled the room, as he danced and sang together with his fellow Warblers. These were the moments he totally forgot what a miserable life he was living secretly on the inside**, **all thoughts vanished from his mind, everything forgotten and totally lost in the music. He couldn't stop himself from glancing to Kurt**,** who just stood there in the doorframe, between all the other students, enjoying the show and looking at him in response**,** grinning**,** while he sang.

"You make me,

feel like I'm living

a teenage dream"

Once again, Blaine looked at the new kid, this time straight into his eyes and felt a smile of joy spreading on his face. The boy was grinning and when he noticed Blaine was starring at him**,** a shy smile appeared on his lips and he held on tight to his school bag.

Once they ended the song, Blaine indicated to Wes and David to follow him and went to the door, where Kurt still stood, looking completly lost. Blaine saw that his hands were still clutching around his bag strap**,** but his smile subsided as he saw Blaine and the other two guys walking up to him.

"I th...I think I'm gonna go, I have...I need to go...somewhere. Yeah, I ne-"

Blaine grinned like a little boy on Christmas Eve as the stranger tried to find the right words to escape. He surely thought they'd punish him for spying. _Yes, I'd like to punish you. Punish you for showing up and messing with my mind, _Blaine thought, still unsure of what was going on with him. And he'd never say it out loud, but he was frightened. A person shouldn't have that influence on him. The last person who did abandoned him.

"Nope, you're not going anywhere.", David said before Blaine had a chance. The kid's eyes widened in shock, his face pale as chalk. Blaine didn't know what expression David's face had, but he could be really intimidating**. **He wasn't sure if he should step in, since Blaine wasn't the head of the Warblers, and Kurt _did_ spy on them in some way. Nibbeling on his upper lip**,** he thought about it for a moment, and when Wes and David didn't make the next move, he gave in. "Don't look so afraid, we're not gonna kill you. At least not now, maybe at sectionals if you're part of our competion." Blaine teased and smiled even more, when he saw that Kurt wasn't eased in the slightest.

"I'll go and get some coffee, Thad brought some cups for all the Warblers, you want some, too?", Wes asked, as he felt the tension. _Man, this kid needs to relax, it's not like were some cruel badass gang, _the boss thought and looked questioningly at Blaine. "Sure, dude, get our new friend here some, too. I'm sure he needs one." and with that he winked at David and Kurt, urging them to follow him into the common room.A few moments later four coffee cups were standing on the table, releasing hot steam and being sipped at occasionally, while the boys chatted. They found out that Kurt was indeed from a school which would compete against them at sectionals, but Blaine got the impression that that wasn't the only reason he went on this undercover mission. As he stated his guess about Kurt being here for some other reason, the failed spy sank even further into his chair. Sitting right in front of the kid he could look right at his face, and there was something in Kurt's eyes that caught his attention. Kurt began to shift in his seat, clearly struggling with something. "Can I ask you a serious question?", Kurt said, looking kinda worried. The Warblers nodded and after a moment Kurt spoke again. When he did the three Warblers couldn't stop themselves from giggling.

"Are you guys all gay?"

Blaine was the first who got his control back, feeling guilty for laughing at Kurt as he saw the hurt in the boy's eyes. "Um, no, I ,uh, mean, I am," _was that a hint of a smile?_,"but these two guys have girlfriends.", he pointed at the guys left and right from him. Kurt looked a little bit embarrassed as he listened and again, Blaine saw this something in his eyes, a flash of something Kurt clearly didn't want to show. David stepped in, filling Kurt in about the rules of Dalton. " This is not a gay school, we just have a zero tolerance harassment policy." Blaine couldn't stop thinking about how small Kurt looked, even if he was clearly taller than him. _He __seems__ to be unhappy about something. Something, that might be to big to carry any longer. _Blaine was lost in his thoughts again, watching the boy with the worried expression. He tried to look everywhere but at the guys, his eyes shining a little bit to much, as if..."Everybody gets treated the same, no matter what they are - its pretty simple! " Wes added, glancing at Blaine. He clearly saw it, too. Blaine tilted his head, suspiciously eyeing the boy. _He isn't starting to cry, is he? Oh hell, what should I do? I'm not the person to deal with things like this..._Blaine's thoughts went wild, although he kept the same appearance. Always the at ease guy on the outside. But his smile vanished as the realization hit him. The kid was clearly gay, and he felt as if it would be better to talk to him alone. "Would you guys excuse us?", Blaine's voice not much more than a soft whisper. A last "Take it easy, Kurt." and the boys where gone, leaving Blaine and Kurt alone at the table. Kurt stared at the floor to his left, taking in a deep breath, shaking from feelings Blaine knew far to well. Kurt fought back the tears which where stinging in his eyes, one hand on his coffee cup to keep it from shaking. "I take it you're having trouble at school." Blaine simply said, no doubt in his voice. Still not looking Blaine in the eyes he answered. " I'm the only person out of the closet at my school." he nod is head in agreement, trying to force back the now visible tears. "And I- I- I tried to stay strong about it," still forcing back the tears, breathing shakily, his voice starting to get weaker. " But there's this Neanderthal who's made it his mission to make my life a living hell. But nobody seems to notice." his voice broke at the end, tears now streaming down his face. The entire time he hadn't made eye contact with Blaine, who tried to keep a straight face himself, and to keep his hands to himself. He felt the urge to hug Kurt, to comfort him.

" I know how you feel. ", and hell, he did. He knew what it was like being the only openly gay kid at school. Once he'd come out, school had been hell on earth, nobody cared about him, or at least they didn't show it, afraid they might be the next to get bullied. Blaine felt heat raising inside of him, the hate for all these people who treated him like something**...**something,...he didn't even know a word bad enough to describe it. He had left this life behind, but this poor kid was living it. When he got home, he'd have to go back there, face the hate again, day after day, until it might be to late. _I need to help him. No one should feel like this. Be treated like this. Oh god, he seems so tiny, unprotected. _Blaine didn't know how exactly he could help him, but he knew he had to. Once you experienced something like this first hand, you couldn't watch others face it on their own.

"I got taunted at my old school and it really— pissed me off," he said with an angry pronunciation on the last three words, trying to show Kurt he really knew the feeling. Emotions boiled inside of him, emotions he thought he'd never have to face again since he was at Dalton. He told Kurt more about himself, how he had gone to the faculty for help, but of course no one had done anything to stop the daily torture he was going through. Sadness lingered over the table, as the two boys shared their stories, and Blaine hoped he might be able to be there for him. His mind trailed off, and he found himself at his old school, _on his own_, with no one around he could talk to. His hands began to shake uncontrollably and he tucked them under the table. His mind went back to the morning, when he was sitting in his room, determined to take his own life. Now he was glad he hadn't. Otherwise he never would have met this boy, never would have had the chance to help him get through it. Sure, Kurt brought back every bad thing that happened, but Blaine knew now that he might be able to help _because_ he went through the same. Maybe at least his bad past could help someone else.

"So I left, I came here. Simple as that." Blaine told, guesturing with his hands. "I know this is not an option for everybody, Dalton is pretty expensive, so there are two things you can do now. You can leave your school, but I can't promise you'll find a place where people are better and less hurtful. I'd love to say come to Dalton, but not everyone can afford it ", Kurt watched him, sadness all over his face. "Or you can stand up for yourself, show them that you won't let them get you down. Refuse to be the victim. Have courage and show the world who you are and that you have the same right to walk the earth as every other person." He watched Kurt relaxing a little bit, but as he spoke he sounded anything but strong. "How?" Kurt asked, his voice filled with sorrow and sounding as if he'd already given up. "Confront him. Prejudice is just ignorance, Kurt, and you have the chance right now to teach them "**, **Blaine said this, even if he knew how hard that was. He had run himself, he hadn't fought, he'd left like a coward. Once more, a wave of self hatred washed over him, but he shook it aside, determined to help this kid. He felt like this was his own guardian angel, saving him and showing him that his life had a new purpose now. That he might be needed. Long forgotten was the cut at his wrist and he smiled encouragingly.

Blaine might not have recognized it for himself yet, but he was growing on that boy. The boy with skin-like porcelain and a skinny figure. The most beautiful eyes and a face like an angel. No, he wouldn't end his life, because this kid needed him. It was a first. Never before had someone needed him, and it felt amazing. He surely could get used to that.

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><p>Please review. I'm grateful for all the faves I got, but please tell me at least that you're still reading.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Hey guys! Here you go! I'm sorry it took me so long this time, but I finally found a beta reader! Yaaaaay for that!

As much as I hate to beg for reviews, please take time and write one, or just tell me that you're still reading...

And now have fun!

(I do not own Glee or anything related...yada-yada-yada)

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><p>"I- I should go." Kurt stuttered, still overhelmed by the kindness of the guys he wanted to spy on in the first place. "And thanks for the, er, coffee."<p>

He got up and started walking away but Blaine followed him, grabbing his shoulder when he was halfway through the door.

"Wait! I'll come with you. Er...outside...I mean...to your car. You have a car?"

Blaine didn't know why he stuttered, and he was kinda embarrassed about it. Kurt looked at him, still red-eyed from crying, but a faint smile on his lips. He nodded and they walked towards the parking lot side by side in silence, both lost in thoughts. Blaine opened the front door for Kurt, and if he had looked at Kurt instead of at the floor he would have seen the light red colour on his cheeks. Blaine's mind was racing. He didn't want to let him go this easily, but didn't want to be pushy and maybe ruin everything. If there was even anything to ruin yet.

"Gimme your phone." Blaine said before he could change his mind and lose his confidence. This boy had changed something, Blaine wasn't quite sure what it was about him, but somehow he had, and Blaine didn't want to lose it. Damn, he had fought so long, he wouldn't let go of this opportunity to finally find some happiness.

"'scuse me?" Kurt looked confused.

Blaine held out his hand, repeating what he'd just said." Gimme your phone. I'll give you my number and I want you to call me if you have a problem and need help. Well, uh, you can call me any other time, too. ", he smiled shyly, as Kurt gave him his cellphone. After he double-checked his number he handed it back.

"There.", Kurt responded , and Blaine didn't know what he meant until his phone began to ring. His face went red, clearly embarrassed by the sound his cellphone made. "My number, you, uh, can call me, too. I...just...if you want t-",Kurt stopped, as he recognized the music.

_When will my reflection show who I am inside?_

Kurt chuckled and looked at him with big eyes. "Disney, huh?"

Blaine, who was now kneeling on the ground, redoing his shoelace just to hide his face made some unintelligible sounds which made Kurt laugh even more.

"Hey, it's fine, I'm not laughing at you. It's just...I love Disney. I just, I wouldn't have figured you were a fan."

Blaine stood up, still brightly coloured, but now smiling directly at Kurt. _Man, this kid truly is awesome, _he thought_._

"Thanks. For the number and for not judging", he gave Kurt a wink.

"You're welcome, but I really need to go...I need to...study. Bye." And with that Kurt climbed into his Navigator.

"See ya!", Blaine shouted at him, as the door shut close, sounding way more hopeful than he wanted to. Kurt drove off, and Blaine simply stood there, watching him turn around the corner, still smiling like a dork.

"Hey Hobbit!"

Blaine nearly screamed as someone grabbed him from behind. He was still standing in the parking lot, staring into the distance and hadn't heard David coming from behind.

"Man, don't do that! You nearly scared me to death, and who would sing at sectionals then?" Blaine joked, still flustered.

"I guess Nick would be eager to take your place, and he isn't bad at all, and I for one would love to- ouwww!", Blaine punched him in the belly and walked off, ignoring David's complaining about sensitive stomach after eating or something.

"What are you doing here, anyway? Aren't you supposed to help Trent with his math homework?", Blaine shot a questioning look above his shoulder at David, who jogged up to him, his big grin still in place.

"Yeah, but there is only so much a guy can take. Seriously, he's driving me crazy, it's not like maths are that complicated." David rolled his eyes, and earned another punch, this time Blaine aimed at his shoulder.

"Give him some credit, Diddi, not everyone is gifted with a mind like yours." Blaine laughed, and he nearly didn't recognized himself. The sound was new to his ears, long forgotten because of the rare use of it.

David seemed to notice it, too, as he hold up one finger.

"First, don't call me that! I hate that nickname. Who came up with it anyway?", a second finger was added, "Two: what the hell happened to you? You're in a surprisingly good mood considering that we have to deal with spies now."

Blaine pursed his lips, but remained quiet, searching for words. David scrutinized him, smiling knowingly.

"Oh.", he stated simply. "God, no. We have enough problems, we do not need a lovestruck hobbit as lead singer. And no, we won't sing love songs non stop so you can express your feelings. We already had that, and if I remember correctly it didn't turned out that well. So just because y-ouuuw!" Blaine couldn't help himself as he punched David for the third time and grinned, trying to hide the blush.

"Shut up, I'm not in love. I only gave him my number...I just...I want to help him, that's all."

The other Warbler faked a shocked look, gasping.

"Oh Frodo, you gave him your number? After, like what, fifteen minutes?" He shook his head and tried hard not to burst out laughing.

Blaine decided to ignore his comment, and pushed open the huge front door. _I'm not in love, I just want to help him. _

Blaine hurried up the big staircase to the dormitories, trying to avoid the other boys, knowing that they'd be curious. They surely already knew that Kurt was gay. It was hard to keep something from them, sometimes the gossip between them was worse than in an all girls school.

"Hey Anderson!" , _Dang!_ Blaine thought, one hand already on his doorknob. "How is he? "

"When will you see him again?"

" You'll see him again, won't you?"

Blaine sighed and put on his most annoyed face as Nick and Jeff fired questions at him.

"Yes, and our marriage is on the 5.11.2011, you're cordially invited." he shot back, and closed the door right into their stunned faces. _Boys._

The rest of the day, Blaine spent a lot of time alone in his room/, playing guitar and trying to figure out some chords to match his original lyrics. When he went into the kitchen to grab something to eat, the boys shot mischievous looks in his direction but wouldn't say anything.

When he finally went to bed, his thoughts circled around the boy he'd just met. Would he call? Would he see him again? He remembered the smile of this boy, the feel of his hand in his own as he dragged him along the hallway, the angelic face and soft, high-pitched voice. Surely one of a kind. And for the first time in a long time, Blaine smiled as he drifted off to sleep.

The next morning was disturbed by an annoying sound Blaine didn't recognize at first. It took him a minute to fully realize that it was his alarm clock. It had been a while since he'd slept well enough to not wake up earlier than he needed. He rubbed his eyes and stretched his muscles, feeling utterly comfy. _Just one more minute._

Blaine rolled over to the other side of his bed, when he crashed into something soft and warm. "What the heck?" His eyes shot open and in less than a second he was off his bed, a wide smiling Jeff sitting on his bed. "Jeff, what the hell? What are you doin' here?"

Blaine was totally confused and began to get really pissed. What the hell was the boy doing in his room? Jeff was still grinning and held his hands up apologetically.

"Hey, man, relax, when I knocked you answered and I thought you were awake when you kept answering me."

Blaines face went white, his mouth dropping open. _Oh no. No, no, no. No! _Blaine felt panic rising inside and began to walk up and down. "Oh my god, dang. Did I...did I...well WHAT did you ask?" he stuttered totally flustered.

Jeff seemed to enjoy this situation. He shrugged and was looking like the cat who got the cream.

"First, I just asked you why you were still in bed, and your answer wasn't very clear, so I stepped inside to check if you were okay. Then you started rambling about a song, and how you needed to figure out the last chords. That's all. Hey, Frodo, breath!"

Jeff looked at the boy whose color could only be described as white. Blaine didn't realize he'd been holding his breath when he let out a shaky one and lowered his shoulders. He didn't know if he could trust Jeff, but he had no other option. He tried not to think about what he could have said. He knew he was a sleeptalker, but he thought he got rid of it the night he lost his father. He never slept deeply enough, never felt safe again. Gosh, he could have told everything in this state. He used to be utterly honest when he was unconscious. What if he'd told him about his father? Or his failed suicide attempt? All his deepest secrets he never wanted anyone to know? He automatically grabbed his wrist. He turned around and went to his bathroom, calling over his shoulder.

"Jeff, whatever I said is probably total bullshit. I'll shower, I'll see you later?", Blaine stopped, the door of his bathroom half open.

"Sure.", his friend jumped to his feet and walked swiftly to the door. "And Blaine, let me hear the song when it's finished." he winked at the little Warbler, and ducked his head, as a slipper flew his way, nearly missing him. He chuckled and walked out the door.

As soon as Jeff was out the door his smile faded and a serious look appeared on his face. He hadn't been totally honest with Blaine. His fellow Warbler did say more than what he'd told Blaine, but he wasn't sure how Blaine would react if he'd know what exactly he had said while sleeping. In fact, there was a lot mentioned about Kurt. And some thoughts about leaving everything behind, everyone who had ever hurt him. Jeff didn't know what to make out of it/ but he seriously had no idea how the lead singer would react if he'd ask him. In fact, Blaine seemed to be totally shocked about what he might have said. Surely he wouldn't be quite okay with Jeff knowing that stuff. And he wasn't eager to find out. Still he didn't know exactly what he should do with the news, may they be good or bad, but hey, it's Blaine, he'd talk to them if he had problems, wouldn't he?

Blaine tried to calm himself down, hot water prickling on his skin and running over his closed eyes as he supported himself with his hands on the wall of the shower.

When Blaine got out it was nearly half past seven. The towel hanging on his waist, he walked into his room, leaving a trail of water on the ground. Some lonely water droplets ran out of his now untidy curls, across his face and down his neck, causing him to shiver. Blaine was busy pulling on his trousers when his phone went off as it received a message. Curious about who it would be from he grabbed it, checking the screen. Kurt.

07:36am

KURT: Hello, I just wanted to say thank you again, I guess I forgot about it yesterday. Maybe I can make up for it one day? Gotta go now, or the jerks will be there...bye! Kurt

Blaine nearly forgot that he had school today, and jumped as he realized that it was already 8:01am. Had he really just stared for nearly half and hour at his phone? He wanted to answer Kurt, but he didn't know what to write. And if he would reply right now, or if he should wait a couple of hours in order not to seem too eager. Did Kurt ask him out on a date? It surely sounded that way, but maybe he just wanted to be nice.

It wasn't before third period that Blaine got the guts to reply to Kurt's message. One single word, but he was sure Kurt would understand. If there was one thing he knew about Kurt, it was that he was smart. Blaine had told him yesterday that he could fight, that he could show them that he was a person worth living if he only had the courage to stand up against them.

Blaine smiled at the word on his screen as he hit "send"

COURAGE


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for the long wait, I've had a lot to do...sooo, I hope someone is still reading?

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><p>I'm just more chapter 5<p>

Once more Blaine sat in his room, alone, dozing on his window sill. The other boys were outside, shouting showtunes at each other and having fun in the sun. It wasn't particularly warm, but they would take what they could get of sunlight, there would be lots of rain and indoor days soon enough. Blaine didn't want to go in the yard with them, he refused the offer with a smile and said he'd be studying in his room. In fact, he really meant to study, but his head was full of things who needed to be sorted out first. He still hadn't gotten an answer from Kurt.

_Yeah, as if he would answer. COURAGE, what the hell? Great Blaine, that's truly a conversation opener. _Blaine scolded himself, his fists in his - now ruined - hair.

Half asleep he heard Trent singing.

"Oooooh I just can't wait to be KIIIIIIING!"

He earned applause and catcalls, and Nick and Jeff burst out into another song:

"Hakuna Matata, what a wonderful phrase.", Nicks voice full of joy.

"Hakuna Matata, ain't no passing grace." Jeff's voice was shaking with laughter as he tried to imitate Nick's expression.

"It means no worries, for the rest of your daaaaaays..." their voices melted together until there was just some blur of sounds.

_Yeah, that would be great, no worries,_ Blaine thought and smiled as he drifted off to sleep.

A low buzzing sound woke him up a few minutes later. Blaine had a hard time remembering where he was, but as he heard the boys, who were still outside, reality sunk in and welcomed him back. _It was just a dream, calm down._ he told himself, taking a few breaths to steady himself. He shook his head to get rid of the last images of his father and stood up, stretching his sore muscles and walking over to his desk, where his cellphone was still buzzing.

**Incoming Call**

**Kurt**

With trembling fingers (_why am I trembling?) _Blaine reached for his phone. He didn't expect Kurt to call. His mind went blank and the strange feeling came back, the tingling in his stomach. _What if I can't help him? _Blaine began to freak out and wasn't sure if he was ready to talk to Kurt.

"He-", Blaine's voice cracked and he cleared his throat," Hello?", he tried once more.

_Great, Blaine, really great. Go on and make a fool outta yourself right away._

"Blaine?", Kurt's voice sounded weird, even higher than usual and really thin.

"Yep, that's me.", Blaine smiled, glad to be able to sound like himself again.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you, but I don't know who else to call and I-I-" , Kurt started, but got interupted by Blaine.

"Kurt, you're not bothering me. Not at all. Just spill it. What's wrong, you really sound...um...not good." , Blaine frowned as he listened to Kurt stuttering into the speaker of his phone.

"Well. I-he-you said...He kissed me, Blaine. I stood up to him and he just...it was terrifying." Kurt finally burst into tears, sniffing noisily_, _his words interrupted by little hiccups.

Blaine was petrified. His body was tense and his tongue seemed to be glued to his teeth. His knuckles were white as he clenched his hand into a fist. He felt the heat of anger rising inside of him, burning its way through his body, down to his toes and all the way up into his heart. He had only talked twice to Kurt, and everytime he had cried. Kurt, the boy who looked so breakable with his soft pale skin and slender figure. Blaine knew what it felt like to be bullied, but this? How should he react?

He just wanted to put his arms around this boy, embrace him and make sure that no one would ever hurt him again. He didn't know much about this stranger, and he had no idea were these feelings came from, but he needed to do _something._ He'd been hurt, he'd been on the edge just inches away from never getting back up again. The reason he was still here was Kurt, Blaine suddenly realized. If he hadn't shown up that day on the staircase...He was indebted to Kurt and Blaine Anderson wouldn't leave without making up for it.

"Blaine?", a soft whisper in his ear, full of agony, underlined with a silent plea. _Help me._

"Where are you, Kurt?"

"School parking lot. But-"

"I'll be right there.", Blaine flipped his phone shut and was already out of his door, car keys in his hand, getting weird looks from the few boys who stayed inside as he passed them on his way to his car.

Blaine didn't know what made him do this nor what he'd do when he'd get there. Kurt sounded helpless and he just reacted. Sure, he could have talked on the phone instead but Blaine wanted to see Kurt, to look in his face and make him smile again.

Blaine sped along the road, fully aware of the trees on the side of the road passing by way to fast. _You can't help him if you're dead before you even __get__ there, _Blaine told himself and slowed down. A little.

By the time he reached the parking lot Blaine had a plan. Kurt said the bully kissed him, so he figured that the guy was gay, too. He would talk to him, maybe he could convince him that bullying Kurt wouldn't make him straight. He had no idea how the brain of this jerk worked, but if he thought he could shove Kurt into lockers and throw him into dumpster to cover up his own sexuality he was wrong.

Blaine stopped in a free parking spot and killed the engine. Checking his hair in the mirrow he fixed his curls and made sure they'd stay flat on his head. Satisfied with his reflection he jumped out of his car, searching the parking lot for Kurt's Navigator.

There he was, sitting in the driver seat, head resting on the wheel.

Blaine's heart began to speed and if he hadn't been absolutely sure that this was the right thing to do, he was now. He knocked softly at the window.

Kurt's head shot up, eyes wide in shock. Blaine pressed his lips together, started by his reaction.

_Wow, he really is terrified._

Kurt's face looked worse than he could've ever imagined but he relaxed visibly as he recognized Blaine.

Where were his friends? Didn't they notice his absence in class? Why was nobody looking for him? Hadn't he told the others?

Blaine nearly jumped at the sudden noise of the unlocking doors. He grabbed the handle and opened the door, climbing in the seat next to Kurt.

"Hey.", he said soflty and gave Kurt a sad smile. The other boy remained silent, but nodded once. Red eyes looked at him, telling a story of pain. Kurt's face was red as well, but Blaine wasn't sure if it came from crying or embarassment because he saw him like that.

Blaine's mind replayed their earlier conversation on the phone, when something hit him.

' _but I don't know who else to call and ...' _Blaine recalled. He only saw him once and still he was Kurt's first choice when he had a problem?

_'...you said...'_

_Oh. Oh! Yeah, I said' confront him'. And then I sent this stupid message. Look where it got him, Blaine! _

At this moment he realized that he'd been staring at Kurt for at least five minutes. Since he got into the car, to be precise. Kurt's head rested on the back of his seat, his eyes were closed but Blaine could see the trail of dried tears.

They both kept quiet and Blaine knew he didn't have to say anything. He would take this slow, he'd give Kurt all the time he needed to sort out his mind until he decided to talk about it. He would just sit here and be there for him, as long as Kurt wanted his presence. Blaine knew he would listen to him as long as it would take for Kurt to feel better. He couldn't care less about the classes he'd be missing, all that counted at this moment was the boy sitting right next to him.

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><p>I know it's pretty short...hope you liked it, though :D<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys! Hope you're all doing well!

I got some really nice reviews, they made my day, thank you so much! You've no idea what they mean to me, siriously! :)

Did you ever write something and thought afterwards 'damn, I planed that totally different' ? Well, that's what happened in this chapter, it was supposed to be more fun..but well...then this happened:

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><p><strong>I'm just more chapter 6<strong>

Half an hour passed without a spoken word, but it wasn't uncomfortable. Blaine looked out the window and glanced occasionally to Kurt. He still had his head on the head rest and his eyes were closed. His breathing was even and Blaine wondered if he was actually sleeping. He looked much better than when he arrived, almost peaceful. It hadn't escaped Blaine's notice that Kurt hadn't locked the doors again once he got in the car. That meant he felt safer with him, right? Safe enough to even sleep.

Blaine smiled happily.

_Yes, definitely the right thing to do. _He suppressed a yawn, not willing to sleep himself in case Kurt woke up.

Kurt's hand were still resting on the steering wheel, tightening the grip around the leather when his eyes fluttered.

"No..no...don't. Lemme go..."

At first Blaine thought Kurt woke up, as his voice filled the car but his eyes remained closed. _He must be dreaming, _Blaine let his eyes wander over the boy's body once more. Kurt's whole body was stiff and Blaine stared deliberately at his white knuckles. Slowly he reached out towards them, not sure how Kurt would react. Checking that he was still asleep he closed the distance between their hands and gently but decisively loosened Kurt's firm grasp off the wheel. Feeling Kurt's soft skin Blaine sighed. _So breakable._ He lowered their hands and covered them with his other hand so that Kurt's was in between. Blaine nearly jumped as Kurt squeezed his hand tightly, clinging to it as if his life depended on it.

"Help me! NO...don't...", Kurt nearly screamed and Blaine reached for his face, trying to turn Kurt's face towards him.

"Kurt. Kurt. Wake up, Kurt. Listen, wake up! You're dreaming. KURT!"

Kurt's eyes shot open, looking frightened, his eyes on Blaine, whose hand still lingered on his chin.

"You...you were dreaming...", Blaine looked down, a faint blush coloring his cheeks as he removed his hand from Kurt's face. "I thought I better wake you up...you were...talking."

He kept his head low but glanced at Kurt, who was frowning a little when he realized he was holding Blaine's hand. He loosened his grip, but didn't let go entirely.

Letting out a sigh he relaxed back into his seat.

"Thank you. For...being here. Being here with me." he looked at Blaine through his long eyelashes.

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><p>"Hey, come on. We tried it. Don't hang your head."<p>

They were sitting at the Lima Bean, sipping coffee and, yes, skipping even more classes. But they couldn't care less.

They confronted Karofsky about the kiss after Kurt filled him in on the whole story.

Blaine had this whole perfect 'You're Not Alone' speech prepared but they didn't even get this far. Being pushed into bars wasn't exactly what he hoped for, so he had better shut up and let Karofsky stump away. However, here they were - sitting at the Lima Bean drinking coffee _on a __non-__date _as Blaine kept reminding himself.

Kurt drew his fingers absentmindedly over the table and looked totally disappointed.

"He isn't going to come out, that's for sure, but maybe he'll stop bullying you." Blaine said encouragingly.

Kurt pursed his lips, thinking about something. When he finally locked eyes with Blaine he said: "Is it weird if I feel sorry for him? No, let me explain." He raised his index finger in front of Blaine's face who wanted to interrupt him. Blaine tilted his head slightly, looking questioningly at Kurt like a puppy.

"I..well. He bullied me, well he still does, and last but not least threatened to kill me but I know exactly what he must feel like. Seeing me everyday walking the halls of McKinley being just myself. Being okay with who I am, even if others don't approve. It's not like I rub it into everyone's faces that I'm gay, but it's kinda obvious. I'm okay with who I am, and I won't let others get me down because of it. Not anymore. Now look at him. He's afraid. Afraid of what his friends might think of him. And who knows what his father is like? It's no reason to bully someone, but I can see his point. Everyone deals differently with this kind of thing, and he is helpless and searching for a way to get rid of his emotions. And why not bully the only openly gay kid at school, and why not kill two birds with one stone in the process? Cover himself and have an outlet for all the anger at himself..."

Kurt's eyes darted between his coffee cup and his hands, and anywhere else but Blaine's face. Blaine could see tears lingering in his eyes as he held his head high, staring at the ceiling. Blaine shifted in his seat, totally aware that they were in public. Talking about being gay. In Ohio.

He wanted to take Kurt's hand again, wanted to soothe him, to tell him that everything would be okay. But he couldn't. He shouldn't.

_This kid's gone through enough. _

Suddenly he wished he had taken him somewhere more private.

"I understand him, but I hate him. I hate him for making my life a living hell, I hate him for making me go through this. And yes. I'm afraid, Blaine, afraid of what he might do to me. I can't sleep at night knowing that he'll be there the next day, just waiting for an opportunity to hurt me. It's not all about the physical pain, because that goes away, it heals, ...but the psychological pain, Blaine. The thoughts that won't leave you alone, that'll stay with you wherever you go. What if someone finds out about him? What if something triggers him to be even more angry at me?

"It's like having the sword of Damocles hanging over my head. Everytime it could be enough pressure and it will fall. And I'll be the one getting hit. "

Kurt tried to wipe away his tears but they kept coming. It nearly broke Blaine's heart to see him like this. Again.

"I'm sorry,...I'm...bathroom..." Kurt jumped off his chair, nearly knocking over his coffee cup, and hurried away.

Unsure what to do Blaine looked around, meeting the eyes of some other costumers. Some looked sad, other disgusted.

A girl not far away from where they were sitting nodded her head vaguely in the direction of the bathroom and mouthed something, which looked a lot like "Go."

It was all it took him to get on his feet.

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><p>He slowly opened the bathroom door and stuck his head through the gap.<p>

"Kurt?", he asked gently.

"In here.", a hint of a voice coming from the stalls.

Blaine walked through the door, searching until he found Kurt, standing in the very last corner possible. Eyes red and puffy he looked at Blaine, his whole body shaking. He turned away and tried to get his shaking under control but his knees kept moving uncontrollable.

If someone would have asked Blaine how it was possible to react that fast he wouldn't be able to answer. The moment he saw Kurt falling he held him in his arms, one hand moving in a soothing pattern across his back.

"Woah, gotcha!", he had no idea what he was doing. " Kurt...listen. I dunno what will be tomorrow, or the next week, but I do know that things are gonna get better. I..gosh..I wish I could help you, but I can't. Not as long as you are going to this school. I can be here for you, whenever you need someone to talk, but I can't make Karofsky to leave you alone, I...I...wished I could do more."

Kurt was sobbing now, forehead resting on Blaine's shoulder. Blaine took Kurt's shoulder, pushing slightly to get him to look into his eyes.

"It. Will. Get. Better.", he said, laying as much conviction as possible in every single word.

Kurt smiled faintly and looked down at the space, well, there wasn't much, between them.

Blaine let go of him, suddenly aware that this might be a little bit inappropriate, they'd only known each other for so long.

He cleared his throat. "Well, okay, then, let's get you cleaned up."

He turned around and headed towards the sink.

"Thank you." A whisper caught his ears.

Once Kurt finished freshening up they left the coffee shop and climbed back into Kurt's car.

The whole way until they reached the school parking lot no word was spoken, both boys lost in their own thoughts, again. His speech to Kurt woke something up in Blaine, and the truth of his words hit him and left him breathless-

_It. Will. Get. Better._

-because that was exactly what was going to happen. Blaine got bullied himself, he went through the pain and the sleepless nights, and it didn't stop until he woke up in a hospital, nearly beaten to death. But it did get better. He found Dalton, he found people that didn't care what he was. He had maybe lost his dad along the way, but he got so much more. Friends. A safe place to be the person he was born to be. And now Kurt.

_I should be happy._

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><p><em>Next chapters are gonna be happier for the boys ;) (well, um,..I'll try :D )<em>

_Aaand if someone wonders...yes, I am on tumblr._

_ Don't be shy, say hi :D questions are okay, too :P_

**_Just search for bowtiefightclub_**


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